Racism or not?

Today I discovered that my computer's power cord has a short in it again (3rd time). This is right before finals week which sucks and it will take for a new one to arrive, so Im not sure how many posts Im going to get on here this week. To make up for this, I have found one of the most racist videos i have ever seen. In this video there is a black person doing black face singing about fried chicken and hot sauce. Is racism like this acceptable when a black person is doing it. Part of me doesn't think so. Also below it is another video I question. Enjoy



Ms Peaches Fries Up Some Chicken

Sandlot Kid Arrested

“Is that your sister? Out there in left field? Naked?”

When I was a kid I won tickets on the radio the the premiere of the movie "The Sandlot." That movie is still one of my favorite movies. Today I found out that Marty York (who played Alan "Yeah-Yeah" McClennan) was arrested on Easter Sunday for beating the hell out of his girlfriend. According to the police report his girl friend hit him with her high heels and he responded by punching her in the eye. He was arrested on charges of felony corporal injury and released on bail. I did some searching to see what else he was up to and apparently hes also a magician. Such a waste of talent for my favorite little Guido.

Heres some pics of him then and now below.

Safe For Work Porn????

Porn and work are two things that rarely mix...that is unless you work in the porn industry. Safe for work porn is a concept where a person takes a pornographic image and uses a program like MS Paint to cover the naughty bits (often hilariously.) Ive seen many really good examples of this in the past but recently I have unearthed a video version of it. Dont worry about clicking and watching it, as there is nothing that is actually graphic in it. Just watch and prepare to laugh your ass off.


Diesel's SFW XXX Party Clip - Watch more Funny Videos

I found Jesus...

Are you feeling lost, alone? Do you feel you have something missing in your life. Well I have something that might help you. I have found Jesus...on a dogs anus. I'm not kidding. After a long round of "what does the dog's anus smell like" its owners noticed that his hindquarters resembled Jesus himself. So like any good christian they decided to make some money off of Angus MacDougal (the dogs name) and immediately gave him a website. Here is what the website had to say about it.

"Angus MacDougall is a three-year-old terrier mix that has recently been blessed with the revered and holy image of Jesus Christ on his hindquarters. Is this manifestation of The Prince of Peace a coincidence or a bona fide miracle? One thing is for certain, this apparition of the Son of God is sure to inspire controversy. Not much if any true scientific or theological inquiry has been made into the nature of this sign to date, but "seeing is believing" as little Angus' terrier-tush is obviously marked by the likeness of Christ. Click on the image below to witness His astonishing appearance, first hand then be sure to visit the links above to learn more about Angus and his sacred derriere extraordinaire. We hope you enjoy your visit!"

Take a look at Angus's Anus (ha ha) for your self and you decide what it is or isn't. Also below are some other famous Jesus sightings

Angus himself

Angus's Anus

Jesus On A Fishstick

Jesus On A Chunky KitKat

Jesus On A Pierogii (WTF is a Pierogii?)

Only in Mississippi

One of the craziest stories Ive heard in a while took place last week in . 47 year old Tammy Sexton was in her home when her estranged husband Donald barged in carrying a .380 pistol. He proceeded to aim at her and fired a bullet into her temple which passed cleanly through her brain and exited through the back of her skull. He then fled out side and turned the gun on himself. Mrs. Sexton not only survived the shot to the head but when police arrived they found her making tea and holding a rag to her head. She even offered a cup to the officers. They brought her too the hospital where it has been determined that she is expected to make a full recovery with no permanent brain damage. Original story can be found here. Sorry i have no video or pictures of this. Unfortunately those do not exist in the great state of Mississippi since no one there can afford them.

A battery powered battery charger?

This weeks craziest gadget is one of the craziest ideas Ive ever seen, The battery powered battery charger. Wait, what? Yes you heard right, this device uses batteries to charge other batteries. As crazy as that sounds, it might not be that bad of an idea. Heres how... (thank you to OhGizmo for explaining what i could not)The device charges up AA or AAAs batteries, not from a wall outlet, but from D batteries that you put in the other side (not included). Disposable batteries typically have a capacity of 12,000 mAh, while rechargeable AA batteries have capacities of around 2,500 mAh or less, meaning that you could potentially charge a whole gang of AA/AAA's on the road without outlets (say, when camping), so long as you brought along a few D's to power them. But the environmentalist in us thinks that carrying a bunch of smaller batteries is probably the more efficient option. Either way this product is definatly better than the solar powered flashlight.

Soul Wow

Are you feeling dirty on the inside? What you need is some Soul Wow, brought to you by the Roman Catholic Churches of the New York area. So what is this Soul Wow you may ask. Its a new ad campaign to try to boost attendance and confessions among New York area Catholics for the holy week surrounding Easter (but extended and still running). No joke. I usually hate religious advertising but this one is pretty clever and a spot on spoof of the sham wow commercials you all love, this time using "Father Vic" instead of Vince. Check out the video below and for more information head over to SoulWow.com

Play Doo?

Play-Doh was one of my favorite things to play with as a child. Remember those Play-Doh machines back in the day that would pump out spaghetti and other shapes in Play-Doh. Well Ive found a device similar to that, however you provide your very own homemade dough. The Turd Twister is one of the craziest and disturbing gag gift I have ever seen. Basically to use this item you just pop it into your sphincter (it has a tapered edge so it wont fall out!) and then poo and it will come out in what ever shape you inserted. Best of all there's like 20 different designs, so if you have ever dreamed of pooing in starts, hearts, bats or moons they have you covered. Plus its dishwasher safe!!! I wonder if anyone has ever actually used this. If you know anybody please let me know. Oh and mothers day is coming up, gift idea? Anyways you can find the product here. Below are pictures of the device and the different shapes you could make with your poo.

De-Baptise your self!!!

I'm not going to take sides on this one, but this is a story that has been gaining some controversy worldwide recently. The National Secular Society out of Britain is now offering people a chance to de-baptise themselves...Free of charge or get your own personalized certificate for a nominal fee. pretty crazy stuff. check out a news story below from USA Today, Also heres a link to the site where you can officially de-baptise yourself.

By Al Webb, Religion News Service

LONDON — A secular organization in Britain that backs an atheist ad campaign on London's buses is now producing "certificates of de-baptism" for people wishing to renounce their Christian faith — and claims it is getting thousands of takers.

The National Secular Society says more than 100,000 ex-worshippers have downloaded the de-baptism certificates from its website, and that thousands of others have ordered up parchment versions at about $4 a copy.

The NSS website advertises the certificates this way: "Liberate yourself from the Original Mumbo-Jumbo that liberated you from the Original Sin you never had."

The British initiative is among the latest in a series of atheist-oriented campaigns in Europe. Italy's Union of Rationalist Atheists and Agnostics, for instance, sponsored a nationwide "De-Baptism Day" last October to encourage Roman Catholics to renounce their church affiliation.

In Spain, a high court ruled that Manuel Blat, of Valencia, could have his baptism records erased under data protection laws.

Terry Sanderson, president of the NSS, cites Pope Benedict XVI's recent contention that the use of condoms does not help combat the spread of HIV/AIDS in Africa as an example of church stridency that is leading to backlashes such as the "de-baptism" certificates.

"The Catholic Church is so politically active at the moment that I think that is where the hostility is coming from," Sanderson told the French news agency AFP. "In Catholic countries, there is a very strong feeling of wanting to punish the Church by leaving it."

In Britain, the NSS chief said, "the fact that people are willing to pay for the (de-baptism) parchments shows how seriously they are taking them."

This is why your fat

Everyone knows that America is an obese nation. And our waistlines are just continuing to grow. I believe I have found the underlying cause to our issue. Over eating is one facet of the issue and I'm just as guilty of it as anyone (see prior article here) but lets take a look at what Americans are eating. Today I came across a site called "This is why your fat" and found my self both disgusted and a little hungry. I thought my 2 pound hamburger was extreme until I saw this site. It features pictures of the outrageous foods in crazy portions that Americans all over the country are "enjoying." Below Ive added some of my favorite pictures from the site including the "Bacon Cinnamon Bun," "The 2 pound McDonald's burger," " The 60 pound rice krispy square" and "The Meat Cake complete with mashed potato icing" Yummm enjoy!!

Hey Ladies, Mow your lawn!

I can officially die now that I know heaven exists. I found it in a Schick razor commercial. You wont see this ad on TV anytime soon unless you live in Europe, but its starting to generate some controversy on the internet. The ad begins with a woman sitting on a couch petting a cat (which ironically is shaved by the end of the ad) and then proceeds to go out side and sing a song with her friends about "mowing the lawn." It even has a scene where a blag woman sings "some bushes are really big," then an Asian woman sings "some gardens are mighty small," and finally a white woman sings "All that's left for me to see are tulips on the mound." (Get it? Tu-lips. On the mound.) no joke. The video even features various shrubs trimmed into hearts and landing strips. Of course some people are going to be offended by this but we as Americans need to lighten up. This is simply about general hygiene and maintenance of the pubic region. I don't see the taboo in talking about this issue. Either way watch the video and let me know what your thoughts on it were.

Oh Kanye!!

Kanye West has been another rapper who has been pissing me off lately. The guy is easily one of the most talented people in the business today but recently his larger than life ego and his addiction to the auto tune has made him into the current world champion of douche bags. Now as most of you know this isn't just a recent problem for Kanye. Some of his famous foot in mouth incidents include.... (with video!)

After Hurricane Katrina, live in front of a world wide television audience Kanye claimed "George Bush Doesn't Care About Black People"



In his song "Crack Music" he makes a reference to the conspiracy theory that the Reagen Administration intentionally placed crack/cocaine in the ghettos of the United States as a way to slow down the black pride movements


On many occasions he has broke into child like tantrums about not winning certain honors. Video below is just one example



Kanye has recently revealed that he wants to be refered to as Martin ‘Louis’ The King Jr. following the launch of his new footwear range for Louis Vuitton during Paris Fashion Week. No joke.


A message from kwest on Vimeo.

These are just a few moments that outline Sir West's crazy ego.

Last week South Park stepped up to the plate and bruised his ego by calling him a gay fish in an episode that makes fun of what a cocky douche he is. Kanye responding to the episode by writing the following in his blog...

"SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME!"

Is this the start of a new chapter for Kanye...I sure hope so...Either way here is a clip from this weeks South Park

As told by Lil' Wayne

I don't understand why Lil' Wayne is so popular. Same goes for T-pain and Kanye West. I admit in the past I have really loved some of Wayne and Kanye's music but lately it seems they are too big for their own good. Anyone...I repeat ANYONE can do what they have done lately with some recording equipment and a vocoder/auto tune. If I had the equipment I would do it just to prove my point. Either way Lil' Wayne is releasing a "rock" album soon. My guess is that it will be the same shitty music he has been producing lately with a little simulated guitar and a lot of auto tune. So basically crap. Anyways the inspiration for this tirade comes from a quote he said in the new issue of Rolling Stone in which he states...

"The rock sh-- just comes from what my life is now. I've grown into this person. I woke up one morning and had three or four women in my bed where I not only didn't know their last names, I didn't know the beginning letter of their first names. All I know is, they're the most beautiful women in the world, and I was in my own place, in whatever city I was in. Then I look on my phone and see a message and know it's from a popular woman everyone knows. And when I went in the studio that night, I couldn't just rap."

Quite the ego there Mr. Carter. Hit the comment box below and let me know what you think about this. Oh yeah...Kanye...your next

6th Grader Sues Dad Over Grounding - And Wins

I swear this will be the last post today that involves children.

While growing up a lot of us complained that our parents punishments were too harsh but there was not much we could do about it. Well a 6th grader in Quebec did something we could only dream of. She sued her father complaining his punishment was to harsh.

The girl's parents are divorced and when the child found out about a school trip to Quebec City the girl asked for and received permission from her mother although she lives with her father. The father agreed to let her go however after she broke his household rules about too much internet use he grounded her from going on the trip. The girls response...A lawsuit. A lower court sided with the girl who ended up going on the trip. The father appealed on principle and lost again. Now the father is thinking about taking the case to Canada's supreme court, which i think is presided over by Tom Green, Celine Dion, Terrance and Philip and I think the guys in Nickleback.

God Canada is fucked up

Source

Crazy Teacher Arrests

Not only students are getting in trouble lately. Ive also uncovered various articles about teachers getting arrested for ridicules reasons, however the difference between these and the children's arrests is that the teachers below deserved it do to their bonehead actions. Take a look


Texas Band Director on Administrative Leave for Unorthodox Punishment
An 11 year old boy forgot to bring his instrument to school. Did his band teacher give him detention or send a note home to his parents...nope. Instead to punish the boy the teacher had the rest of the class empty the spit valves from their instuments into the boys hand. Gross

http://www.parentdish.com/2008/01/16/texas-band-teacher-on-administrative-leave-for-unorthodox-punish/

Student Teacher Creates Bomb Threat Hoak To Get Out Of Class
We all remember a time in high school where we got out of class at least for a little while due to a bomb threat. Heck some of us know someone who has called one in. But from a teacher? One student teacher in was charged after she anonymously emailed the school saying she overheard students threatening to shoot up the school. All so she could get out of teaching the next day.

http://www.courierpress.com/news/2008/apr/19/studentteachercharged/

Teacher Fired For Branding Students With Crosses
While showing his class how a high frequency generator works a teacher in ohio burned images of a cross into several students skin. The teacher in a devout Christian and has had prior complaints about preaching in the past but burning students? He doesnt deny burning the image into the students skin but is appealing his dismisal stating that the burns were in the shape of X's not a cross.

http://www.parentdish.com/2008/06/26/teacher-fired-for-branding-students-with-cross/

Crazy Kid Arrests

Considering the last few posts were about issues dealing with children, today is obviously kids day at UnicornShit. Recently the website Parentdish.com has been a goldmine for hilarious articles about children and recently I've noticed a lot of crazy stories about kids getting arrested. Due to this I've decided to post my favorites here with links to the original articles.

13 year old gets arrested for farting...
Passing gas is hilarious for most teenage boys but this 13 year old boy in Florida was recently arrested for "disruption of a school function" for repeatedly passing gas

http://www.parentdish.com/2008/11/23/teen-arrested-after-passing-gas-at-school/

Teen gets escorted out of prom in handcuffs for inappropriate prom dress
A Houston teen was escorted out of her prom in handcuffs for "improper dress code." In the school defense this dress was definitely not appropriate but was handcuffing her really necessary? You decide, the picture is included below.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/12/see-the-dress-that-got-a_n_101311.html

Police arrest 7 year old on dirtbike
The boy was had his bike turned off and was sitting on it on a sidewalk near his home when police spotted him and claimed he was riding a dirt bike on a side walk which is against the law. So what to they do? They pulled him from his bike by his neck and took him downtown where they took mugshots and fingerprinted him before returning the boy to his parents. Apparently this received so much attention that the boy and his parrents recieved an apollogy from the mayor of Baltimore.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/03/16/national/main2579144.shtml

5 year old was handcuffed for "Temper Tantrum"
A 5 year old became unruly during a kindergarten class and started tearing down paper off a bulletin board and hit the assistant principle when he intervened. Instead of calling the parents, they decided to call the police on the girl. The police bent the girl over a table, handcuffed her and put her in the back of a squad car before releasing her to her parents.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/04/25/earlyshow/main690601.shtml

School Guards Break Child's Arm And Arrest Her For Dropping Cake
A 16 year old girl was standing in a lunch line waiting to pay when she was bumped and her piece of cake fell to the floor. School security asked her to clean it up, which she did, however not to their satisfaction. She was forced to re clean the area 3 more times until she finally left the cafe out of embarrassment. At this point security jumped on her, held her down, and broke her wrist in the process. Security was also heard saying "hold still nappy head" in this incident. She ending up not only with a broken wrist but with charges of battery and littering (cake). In addition a student and his sister were arrested for filming the event with their cellphone.

http://infowars.net/articles/september2007/280907Cake.htm

10 year old arrested for cutting lunch with a knife
A 10 year old girl received FELONY CHARGES for bringing a steak knife to school. Did she threaten some one with it? Did she wave it around showing everyone? No! She brought it out at lunch time to cut the steak she bought for lunch.

http://www.parentdish.com/2007/12/18/10-year-old-arrested-for-cutting-her-lunch-with-a-knife/

Honorable Mention

Andover Seventh-grader's KKK project draws fire.
When i was in elementary school I was in a gifted program called tag. (I know me right?) In this class one of our projects was to create a board game. Mine was on the internet which was new and exciting and not primarily for porn back then. Well a class in Andover had a similar assignment where they made board games about historical events to show what they have learned. Well one student ended up making one on the KKK. The boy did not have any racial intentions behind this and was just showing what he learned (even though some of the cards included statements such as "You forget to clean your white robe so you can't go to the lynching. You are punished. Move back two spaces") however some parents were extremely upset when they saw this at a school open house. Picture included below

http://www.kansas.com/690/story/754806.html

SpongeBob Got Back!

Sir Mix-Alot must be low on cash these days and Burger King must be out of their minds. These two just got together to create the single greatest BK commercial EVER. Of course parent groups are up in arms over this and claim its to vulgar for children and it definitely is but hearing the king talk about Spongebobs "square booty" is hilarious. Check out the video below

Gay Marriage...Is it right? Video ha ha

Soooooooo I think ive just came across the holy grail of youtube. Its a young boy talking about gay marriage and his views on it are hysterical and from viewing his comments, it looks like hes conjured up a shit storm. Be sure to check out his other videos especially the one called "Stop calling me a homo!" and read the comments for extra lulz

E-Cards...The Best Way To Tell Someone You Gave Them Herpes

Lately with STD rates that are out of control everyone should get checked regularly. I recently went in to get checked (I'm clean...Ladies ha ha) and while in the waiting room I picked up a copy of WebMD magazine to read. In it I saw an article about a site that lets you send E-cards to notify your partners that you have an STD if your too scared or ashamed to do it in person. This has to be the most inappropriate way I have ever seen to inform someone your gave them a disease, and I figured it had to have been some sick joke. Nope no joke at all. At http://www.inspot.org you can seriously send a card saying "Sorry but I have an Std and you might want to get checked," or that you recently was diagnosed with HIV. As screwed up as this seems, it does have some potential for some practical joke applications. Images of some of the cards are below but check out the site for more...

Cha Cha Cha Chia Obama

I was not aware of this but apparently due to the popularity of Obama, Chia decided to pay homage to our president by producing a special edition of its product with the appearance of Barack Obama. I believe its amazing. I mean I didnt know this company still existed and the idea of a Chia Obama is pretty amusing. Unfortunately some people don't share my enthusiasm including the top officials at Walgreen. This week they have decided to pull this product off of their shelves after deciding this was too racist for the company. Apparently this was due to the products "nappy hair," and they actually received quite a few angry calls about it. I am outraged by this. I might not be the biggest obama supported but its a freaking Chia pet. Come on people. If you really want to hammer someone for racism involving Obama, how about going after the recently opened "Obama Chicken House" in Brooklyn or the European chicken finger brand entitled "Obama Fingers." (click each link for details) Either way, do you consider this Chia Pet to be racist? Comment this article and let me know. (The Obama Chia can be found here) Also below are pictures of the Chia and the Obama products that I actually believe should be found to be racist

Kid Paints Penis On Rooftop

Upon learning about the capabilities of Google Earth 18 year old Rory McInnes decided to make the flat roof of his parents 1 million dollar house stand out for all to see. Perhaps inspired by the Cerne Abbas Giant (a giant naked man with an equally large erection thats carved into an English hillside and maintained by locals) Rory climbed to the rooftop and within the next hour painted a massive 60 ft penis on the house's roof. This went unnoticed for the next year until it was spotted by a helicopter tour that hovered over the house to take pictures. Considering The Cerne Abbas Giant is regarded as a massive fertility symbol, and couples often have sex on his appendage in the hope of conceiving,Rory’s mother Clare commented "We don’t want any more children, so the idea of sleeping under a giant fertility symbol is rather worrying," and that she dosnt like the idea of couples "hooking up" on her roof. The son is currently in brazil on a break between studies but the parents promised that upon his return home he will be greeted with a bucket and a scrub brush to clean it off. pics below of his "artwork" and of the Cerne Abbas giant. original article can be found at http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2336886.ece

Mother of the year nominee?

When I was 14 a typical birthday party was a trip with your friends to the water park, some chucky cheese action, bowling or some mini golf. What about beer, shots and vodka chugging contests. This is exactly what happened last week in Kansas City, MO where a mother was arrested after two girls passed out at her daughters 14th birthday party. One of the girls admitted to around 9 shots of vodka and had a b.a.c. almost 3 times the adult legal limit. In addition one of the games they had for the kids to play was "who can drink a glass of vodka the fastest." I enjoy a drink or 6 every now and then but this is disturbing even by my standards. Check out the video below.

Embedded video from CNN Video

Im officially fat

Today was quite the boring day off filled with shitty April fools pranks (of which i fell for almost all...fuck!) If any of you didnt know my other part time job is at Fuddruckers and upon hearing a few weeks ago that no one has been able to finish a 2 pound burger today I finally decided that I should be the first. First of all saying that this thing is only 2 pounds is an understatement. This monstrosity included 2, 1 pound patties, a half a pound bun and a metric shit-ton of swiss cheese, mushrooms and onions. I didnt think id be able to finish this fucker but somehow got it down while desperatly supressing the urge to projectile vomit during every bite. Fucker was good but waaaay to much. This is possibly the worst idea ive ever had and ever since the burger ive been stricken with insane bloating, gas and stomach pains. Heres some pictures of the monster burger and one of my fists for a comparison.